


Endurance

by ExtraCheeesePlease



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:53:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25147279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExtraCheeesePlease/pseuds/ExtraCheeesePlease
Summary: Miles Fox had no idea how he wanted his life to be. The world around him wouldn't bend to how he wanted to shape it but rather it would bend him way out of his comfort zone. Once out, he will have to endure and survive whatever comes his way. Will he find a purpose or will he succumb to the crushing weight on his shoulders.
Relationships: Original Character(s)/Original Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 3





	1. Routine

The world changed the years following the outbreak of the cordyceps brain infection and humanity struggled to adapt to that change. Little was known about it. It baffled the scientists and the doctors and soon overwhelmed both. The worst part about it was that there was no cure and that was the bad part, in addition to the domino-like fall of all the hospitals. Life in a military-controlled quarantine zone and it got harder when his father had placed him in a preparatory school that was a facility that trained young kids to become soldiers as they had faced a shortage of men with the constant threat of the infected and the attacks of the so-called Fireflies. He just found himself devoting his time and effort to the military after all the years of his father telling him over and over that it was the way to go but it wasn't how he saw it but still it was a way to fight and protect everyone in the QZ from the horrors that lied beyond the wall. In his mind, he was doing the right thing, fighting to protect the helpless and the survivors and with that thought, it was easier to pretend that he didn't notice that his commanding officer and his buddies were stealing from the pre-set rations. Miles could remember the last time someone spoke of this, they were never seen again. Most rumors flying by are saying he’s locked up somewhere, other ones say that he was executed for sedition, the point that he was never seen again. It seemed that everyone had to stay in line to survive but sometimes Miles wondered where the actual worst place to be was, this quarantine zone or out there in the city along with the infected. Miles was in the military assigned dining hall and was trying to eat the food he was given but he just wasn't hungry so he poked it with his fork. He just has been feeling conflicted for the fact that he was one of them and on the bad days, that would get to him.

“God, it’s just so boring here. You know what we should be doing? Going out there to kill the Fireflies. I hear some guys talking that there were sightings in the area.” 

A fellow solider on the distant side of the table spoke. Harvey was on his patrol squad and it had been their second year now along with another two, Jack and Ian. Harvey was passionate about either the army’s tasks or killing infected and hunters and Miles didn’t spend too much time thinking about which one it was. How it would go most of the time was him talking about all his plans while the other three would just listen. 

"Fireflies. They're just delusional. I don't understand why they're fighting when they get their ass kicked nearly every fucking time they face us." Jack chimed in.

"Maybe they're just driven," Ian said carefully.

"By what? Insanity? It's just some revolutionary shit that's going to end soon." Jack replied, not even looking up from his food.

Miles as usual was silent. His mind felt too busy. It always felt too busy.

"Miles? Whatcha think?"

Harvey's voice snapped him out of it. His eyes glanced around and he noticed they were all looking at him expectantly.

"W-what?" 

"Jeez, you weren't paying attention? Alright, let me fill you in. We were talking about a game the next time we go on patrol which is probably tomorrow at the earliest or at least that's what I heard the commander talk about--"

"Fuck, Harvey, would you get to the point?" Jack complained, which caused Harvey to shoot him a glare before he turned his attention to Miles.

"Anyways, how about a little game? We'll see who can bring down the most targets."

"Okay. Are we talking like... living human beings or infected?" Miles said.

"Both. They both count. The one with the least amount of kills has to sneak into the kitchen and get us whatever snacks they find."

"Sounds good."

"And whoever loses can't complain," Harvey said and turned to face Ian.

"I was fucking tied with Jack that time," Ian grumbled.

"And then you weren't."

"Only because you decided that. Who made you in charge?"

"Because I'm the oldest."

That made Jack snort. Which prompted Jack and Ian to look at him then look back at Harvey. They knew what came after that. 

"You got a problem with that?"

"Nah, but I was just thinking if we were talking dick size, you definitely won't be in charge."

Miles choked on his food and Ian immediately lowered his head and rubbed his forehead. He noticed Harvey get enraged and silent but it only lasted for a moment. 

"Fucking hell, do you want me to kick your ass right now?" Harvey said with a glare. "Right here? In the fucking open?"

"Guys, no. C'mon. You'll get in trouble again. Remember last time?" Miles quickly tried to calm things before they escalated which was often happened. Jack's facial expressions were snarky and weren't helping the situation. The next few minutes were clouded by unavoidable silence until Jack broke it. 

"Good chat, ladies, but I'm going to bed now." He said and picked up his tray and placed it on the table near the way and with that, he was gone. Ian was looking at Harvey and looked as if he was sizing him up.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" Harvey snapped at Ian once he noticed his look.

"Nothing, nothing. I was just leaving, too." He said rather quickly but he had a look of amusement on his face. He threw Miles a look that was almost apologetic as he walked passed him. He was now alone with Harvey and he wasn't the best conversationalist but on the bright side, they already knew that. Miles poked at his food since he still had some but wasn't hungry. He didn't know why he didn't get up even though there was nothing for him right now.

"He always has to be fucking irritating. I don't know how I'm going to survive for another year like this." Harvey said out of nowhere, it made Miles look at him. He had light brown eyes which turned golden once it caught the gentle rays of the sun that went well with his dark hair. He was taller than Miles and more built and his skin was tanned and he could tell it wasn't because of the sun.

"You know he's always like that. Don't take it personally."

"I'll tell you the same thing when he argues with you, alright, hotshot?"

Miles chuckled and then tilted his head to the side.

"You got yourself a deal, buddy."

Harvey returned the smile then looked past him and didn't answer say anything else. Miles followed his eyes and saw that his father was standing near the door. He looked back at his friend and was greeted with a reassuring smile. 

"You'll be fine, okay? I'll see you later in the room and if you don't come, I'll go punch Jack as a distraction so please be late."

He teased and then got up and walked past him, clapping him on the shoulder in the process. Miles took a deep breath and then made his way to the door. Another soldier was standing near his father and it seemed like he had escorted him here. He nodded at Miles once he stepped closer before he eventually left. His father offered a smile and a hug which Miles slowly walked into but his arms never wrapped around the other man. It didn't seem to matter to him much as he pulled back, that same smile on his face.

"How are you doing? Did you make any progress?"

He meant climbing the ranks of the military. The second thing he always asked about and it seemed that he didn't even want the answer to the first question. It always seemed like he was trying to convince himself that he was invested in his son's wellbeing.

"I don't--"

"So, no."

Miles let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed the back of his neck, already having enough of this conversation. His eyes looked around for any familiar face, desperately trying to find at least one as if that would save him.

"Yeah, no, dad."

"You're not trying hard enough. You need to train more. You're not looking like you've even been working out. Ed's son was told that he could be general one day."

He wanted to tell him that he didn't give a shit about Ed's son but he just wanted to make it end.

"Dad, is that why you're here?"

He seemed taken aback by the question.

"Yeah, Miles. I can't check up on you anymore? I haven't seen you in a while."

"Okay, that's nice. Hey, I gotta go because I could make some training time before bed because I've got patrol tomorrow."

"Good. That's good. Good night, then."

Miles nodded and then continued with his way to his room which he shared with his patrol members. It wasn't much, just two bunk beds in each corner with a single desk near a window. He walked in and saw that Jack and Ian were arm wrestling while Harvey was doing a set of pushups. Jack grunted and then pushed Ian's hand down.

"Ha, you lose again. What would Rick say? Oh, I know. Shameful soldier."

Ian scoffed and then put his arm up again. Jack was pleased with that and he grabbed his hand and proceeded to try and push it down again. Miles caught Ian's eyes and then slowly moved close to Jack to press his hands to his side. The movement caught the other man by surprise and Ian drove his arm down flat on the desk. Both Ian and Lucas found it very amusing but it was very obvious that Jack didn't. In a sudden movement, he tackled Miles and rolled around with him on the ground as he tried to wrestle him off. Jack had successfully pinned him down and he couldn't move and when he stared up at him, he had a look in his eyes but he couldn't exactly put his finger on it but he seemed to enjoy the look on Miles's face. 

"Don't mess with me, Miles."

He whispered with a smirk. It made Miles get riled up underneath him and he tried to squirm out of the hold to hit him. He seemed to know that so he held him tighter.

"Alright, that's enough. Get up, Jack. Leave him alone and Miles? Try not to take it personally."

A light jab. Miles wondered if using his words against him this soon made him happy. Soon Jack rolled off and got up, clapping Ian on the shoulder for an extra round. Miles sat up, leaning back on his arms and huffed in annoyance. 

"C'mon, guys. Get some sleep." Harvey said as he settled in bed.

"Yes, father. Would we get a bedtime story as well?" Jack shot back, turning his attention to Harvey who completely ignored him. That distraction made Ian get the upper hand and push his arm against the desk again.

"Alright, I believe that makes us even," Ian said with a grin. Jack responded with a chuckle.

Miles climbed in bed, he had the lower bunk and it was something he didn't mind all that much. He was just tired and the sooner they were done with patrol, the better. Going outside the walls was something he still dreaded but was forced to face it and he kept trying to force himself to it all.


	2. Awake

A familiar darkness engulfed Miles as he slept during that night. It wasn't comforting or reassuring but he knew it all too well. Memories plagued his sleep and he tried his best to reassure himself whenever he woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night but not today, he managed to sleep until the morning. He was woken up by some distant voice, as he slowly opened his eyes he saw that Ian was standing next to him all dressed up in his fatigues with a navy blue button-up shirt. It was his favorite and he wore it every time he left the quarantine zone on patrol and he wondered if it was because he considered it some sort of a lucky charm.

"Come on, we have to leave soon. You should get ready before Rick starts to complain about how lazy you are." Ian said to him and got his nearby backpack.

Miles rubbed his face and then sat up to look around. Harvey was standing by the desk and cleaning his pistol. It was something he got used to doing before they would leave for a patrol. He couldn't see Jack and wondered if he was still in bed on the top bunk. 

"Get up, c'mon." Ian insisted.

"Fine. Fine."

With no choice but to get up, Miles got out of bed to get dressed. He wore a dark shirt with grey cargo pants and wondered if they'll be getting bulletproof vests and helmets like most of the soldiers out there but it would depend on what the commander would say. Finally, they were all dressed and they headed for the assigned garage to get in one of the cars. They had to lower the numbers of functional cars used until they found more gas since it was running alarmingly low, until then they relied on two or three humvees to get around and that resulted in them lowering the usual patrol runs. They all stood near the armory to get their guns before being met with their commander who was called Rick Doss. He was generally an unpleasant man who they were thankful they only met a few times during the week. Now it was one of those unfortunate times.

"Alright. Today we're patrolling the west side and looking for any supplies we might find. You boys know the drill. In and out as fast and efficient as you can and if you get bit. you're on your own."

Miles stood up straight and in line with his other squad members. Doss watched them to see if they had anything to say, silence reigned in the mostly empty garage. The only sounds there came from the hushed chatter of nearby soldiers.

"Alright, let's move out."

They followed him into a humvee and rode out. The ride to their destination was silent and there were only the sounds coming from the radio of other squads and the home base chatter. It was usually like that most of the time as they went on assignments. There was no need to pretend like they got along together, neither party was interested in doing so and that was fine. The car came to a stop and it was a premature one. Miles looked out the window to investigate and saw there was a crashed car blocking the only way across the bridge.

"What the fuck." Rick mumbled, mostly to himself. He picked up the radio and spoke to find out if anyone's been west recently. The reply was no and Miles could see the problem now. There was something wrong and there was someone there recently.

"Get down and secure the perimeter," Rick told the boys. They looked at each other and then one by one got out of the car.

"What about you, dear commander? You gonna stay here and watch the fireworks?" Jack said in clear annoyance.

"You want to talk back to me? I'll make you regret that when we're back, Walker."

Miles grabbed Jack's shoulder firmly. He could tell that Jack was about to say something else.

"Leave it."

He looked back at him and shook his grasp off his shoulder and walked away. Miles glanced back at Rick who seemed pleased and it was as if he had convinced himself that it was his own bravado that made Jack stand down. 

"Get moving, Fox."

"Yes... sir."

He mumbled hesitantly and then followed his squad members beyond the wrecked car to take a look around. He wondered if this was some sort of trap and there would-be snipers or something stationed all around since this was a suitable high spot. Harvey as usual took control of the situation. It was passive at this point and they were used to it. Besides, it was better him than Doss. 

"Alright, you guys. Just be careful and keep your eyes peeled."

Harvey spoke as he scanned the wrecked car before studying the area around it. There were a few dead infected bodies not far from the car and it only meant that someone was here. Ian called out after a few minutes.

"There's some blood here near this ladder and I think I can see more down there."

Miles moved closer to take a look and saw that Ian was right. The question would be was it infected blood or human.

"I'll check it out." Ian volunteered then approached the ladder. He holstered his weapon and then slowly moved down the ladder. Harvey gestured for Miles to follow and it was something he had already considered. He grabbed the ladder and carefully made his way down. He heard Ian groan and he was about to ask but touched something moist on the ladder and was quick to realize that it was blood. Wet blood. Miles looked up at Harvey and held up his hand and he clenched his jaw.

"Watch out, okay? Can't leave me with Jack alone, yeah?" He said with a small smile.

"Yeah." Miles chuckled and then quickly made his way down, that brief exchange managed to ease him up. He felt his palms get sweaty when he had his feet on the ground. Ian was vigorously rubbing his hand on his pants.

"Hey, more blood over here."

He whispered to Ian and slowly got his gun out. Ian was quick to grab his weapon and follow. Out ahead was one body that was bleeding out but it was a runner and it looked recent. There were a few cars and one that crashed into the nearby railing. Miles kept his eyes on the ground and saw some blood that had the effect of being dragged and it led to the other side of a car. He slowly approached it and as he got closer, he could hear soft groans. He didn't know what to expect but was careful about it all the same. He leaned his head to get a look at what was behind the car and it all happened so fast but the searing pain in his temple which made him lose his balance was impossible to miss. He didn't know what happened but somehow he lost the sensation of his legs and fell on the ground. He heard the sound of Ian's voice shouting his name and then heard a few gunshots. Miles's hand moved to his head and felt the warm wetness of the blood. At that moment he scrambled to his feet and then grabbed the gun firmly and trying not to let it show that he was shaking. He saw that Ian had effectively controlled the situation. The one who shot him was a woman who seemed to be badly injured, her hand was now bleeding and the gun was on the ground beside her but she was still alive. She was breathing heavily as Ian stepped closer to grab her gun, he kept his eyes on her.

"Are you okay, Miles?" Ian asked his fallen comrade as he managed to effectively control the situation and as realization set in, he faced the woman, there was fear in her eyes.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." He answered quietly, trying to ignore the hot pain.

"What's going on? We heard gunshots!" Harvey ran over, holding his gun in front of him and Jack followed but once he saw that it was contained, he eased up but only lightly.

"We're fine. Only ambushed by her." Ian replied. "We're fine, though."

"What are you doing here? Was that your car that crashed up there?" Harvey asked in a gentle tone.

The woman seemed hesitant to reply and soon held her injured hand close to her chest. She looked up at Harvey before she answered. She seemed to be in bad shape.

"Yes. I- I was trying to get home. Please. My son. He needs me. I need him. I have to get to him, have to take him to someone who can take care of him."

Her tone was absolutely heartbreaking to Miles and it made him even forget about the lightly bubbling rage that followed that assault and the gentle warmth the blood left behind as it trickled down from the wound. She slowly pulled herself up but maintained her cautious stance. Everybody did.

"Please, I need your help. I'll give you everything I own. All my husband's ammo, food... Anything. Please."

Miles looked at Harvey who seemed to be in thought but kept his gun up and pointed at her. He saw that Ian also looked at Harvey and for all the protesting they did once, he would casually state he was in charge, in the field it was different as they awaited his opinion or actions most of the time. Miles thought it was great to have someone he relied on and he already trusts Harvey greatly. He was bound to the rules but reasonable. Harvey was about to speak but Jack approached him and mumbled something to him that made his expressions turn dark but not with anger, it was something else. Miles watched Jack who just casually stepped back to where he was, their eyes met and he tilted his head to the side as if asking him what was going on but the woman spoke again.

"Just help me get to my son, I'll give you anything." She whispered and seemed to be having more and more trouble with every word she'd utter. "It's not far from here. It's the building west from here with a large yellow sign on the roof."

Before any of them could say anything, Miles saw that Doss was approaching and quickly looked around from Mile's injury to the woman who visibly stiffened. He wondered if she could feel the rotten vibe that Doss seemed to radiate.

"What are you doing here? Who's this?"

Harvey was quick to answer.

"A civilian, sir. It seemed she's the one who crashed the car an--"

"A runaway?" He interrupted.

That made Harvey pause. Miles gulped hard then spoke to answer Doss.

"No, it just seemed that she was lost. Or just passing here."

"She infected?"

Miles and Ian remained silent because they didn't get the time to check. Harvey on the other hand seemed solemn. The woman started to back up and that was all the answer that they needed. Doss unholstered his gun and pointed it at her.

"No, please. Please." She begged.

"Sir! Wait, we don't need to kill her right away. Maybe just hear her out, I'm sure she could provide some valuable information." Ian cried out.

Doss turned to look at Ian with a grim expression then turned his eyes towards the woman.

"We don't take in strays, especially not infected strays. We're soldiers, not charity workers. If you need help remembering that, maybe the army isn't the place for you. Boys like you are the first to die for thinking that there's hope in this world and if you ever forget that and start feeling hopeful again then look fucking around. This is a world with no hope. If you go against my orders a second time, I'll personally remind you of your duty. Now kill her. It's protocol."

Ian looked dumbfounded at that sudden request. It made Miles's blood run cold but he didn't know what to, he wondered if Ian would actually do it. Doss saw that there was no response and pressed on while the woman seemed to back up but unluckily for her, Doss noticed that and shot her leg. That made her cry in pain and she collapsed.

"Sir-" Miles started but was interrupted by Ian. He let him continue.

"Sir, I really-- She's a fucking human being." Ian started in a leveled voice. "And what you're doing with her now is just toying with her and I want no part of that."

Doss smacked him with the grip of the gun.

"Do it. Kill her."

Harvey tried to get involved and separate them from each other, saying that he didn't have to pressure him and that they'll solve it another way. Miles moved to check on Ian, his cheek was now red and anger was clear on his face so he held him back. A pleading cry followed by a gunshot silenced all of them and echoed until it was broken by a familiar thud of a body hitting the ground. They all noticed that Jack had shot the woman and it was enough to get Doss to move back but not without giving Ian a dirty look.

"This is not over. Get back in the car, we have a long day."

Doss said and left for the ladder. Once Ian saw the dead body he pushed Miles off to check on her for any signs of life. Miles didn't fight his actions even though he thought it was useless but he wouldn't voice out his thoughts at the moment. The four of them didn't move until after Ian glared back at Jack but said nothing. He was the first to leave. Miles glanced at Jack and he seemed to read off the meaning of the look.

"Don't give me that, he could've beat the shit out of Ian for not doing it." He said, defending his actions.

"That doesn't make it better, Jack." 

The other man got in Miles's face.

"Acting like a real boy scout, aren't ya? Last time I checked we weren't supposed to save people from this fucking thing and there was nothing any of you would've done so don't act all high and mighty like you're holding some sort of moral high ground just because you didn't pull the fucking trigger."

His tone got more intense with his last few words and he shoved back Miles. Harvey called out and immediately got involved, putting his arm between them just as Miles lunged himself at Jack to push him back. 

"I know all that but you don't have to be a dick about it."

"Fuck me for doing my job then."

"You sound just like him! Just like Doss! That very man you say you hate with a passion. I find it so fucking weird that you're turning into a mini version of hi-"

He didn't even finish his sentence as Jack punched him. Harvey pushed Jack away from the other man as Miles stumbled back, almost losing his balance.

"I'm nothing like that piece of shit and don't you dare say it again. You and Ian need to fucking open your eyes and look at how things are. Do you think you're some sort of hero who has to save all of humanity or something? Sorry to burst your fucking bubble."

He said, eyes blazing in anger at Miles as he walked away. Miles brought his hand up at the growing warmth on his lip and saw that it was blood. Harvey cupped his face so he can look at it and once Miles noticed that, he moved away with such speed it even surprised himself.

"I'm just making sure you're okay." Harvey felt like he needed to explain his actions.

"I-- I know." He sucked in a deep breath. 

Harvey smiled reassuringly and then gestured to the ladder. At that same time, there was a honk that echoed in the emptiness of the hollow town and even the depths of Miles's own soul. 

"Let's go." He told Miles and only moved when he did.

It would've been better if they went back after all that but apparently that was not what Doss wanted. Miles glanced at Harvey who finally made eye contact, he shrugged silently but carefully, he didn't want Doss to see him.

"Sir? Maybe it would be better if we went back to the QZ to regroup and get a breather."

"Nonsense. That's a waste of time." Came the commander's answer.

"With all due respect, some rest would be good and it would good for them."

"Some rest? Do you think you boys did something over there? We made no progress on our patrol and if you want to keep making decisions with your emotions then it's going to be a problem. You have to be sterner than this. Prioritize the mission at all costs otherwise this carelessness would cost you. We'll continue for now."

Once he felt that it would fruitless to argue more with him, Harvey looked back at Miles with an apologetic smile then at Ian. Miles wasn't too surprised since he expected that to happen. With Harvey in the passenger's seat and all three in the back, it felt like the atmosphere between them was electrifying. Miles was in the middle with the other two having a window to look out from and turn their attention elsewhere while he was stuck with Doss's grey eyes looking back at him from time to time. It would be uncomfortable and the patrol itself would take some time but at least they weren't stuck with each other in a small space. They encountered few runners and cleared the street on the westside then started making their way back to the base just as the sun was going down. Miles got out of the humvee and felt like it was the first time he could catch a breath. Dinner went by quietly as no words were exchanged. The forced silence made Miles uncomfortable but he did nothing to stop it. Soon Jack left and it was just Harvey left who sighed.

"I wish I could've done something. Maybe if I just--"

"It's not your fault, Harvey," Miles said almost immediately.

"I just try so hard to establish some kind of barrier between us and Doss. Sometimes it just... doesn't work. If I could've just acted quickly, maybe Ian wouldn't of gotten hurt. Is that--" He sighed. "Heh, if Jack was here, he'd say something like how delusional I must sound. Does it make sense? What I'm saying?"

"It makes sense. I get you. And.. you make it tolerable, you know? If you weren't there, I don't think I--" Miles clears his throat. "I'm just glad you're around, Harvey."

It made Harvey smile and he reached over to playfully nudge Miles. He liked how he would calm him down and reassure him when he was doubting if things were alright.

"Have a good night, alright?"

Miles didn't expect that.

"Oh, you're going to bed?"

"No, no. I'm just going to go to get some things done." He said as he stood up. 

Miles watched him and thought whether to ask for some more details but decided against it. For now, he just watched Harvey get up and leave him with all the others. He liked being alone but for some reason, he didn't like being alone here. He got up then made his way to the roof where he liked to relax from time to time. Miles sat on the edge, watching the sea of lights slowly fade into everlasting darkness which was beyond the walls. Sometimes he'd wonder if Doss was the darkness his sea of light had to deal with because he always felt like he needed to distance himself away from him. He thought of what Harvey said and knew he'd do the same thing, protect his friends at all costs.


	3. Disappearance

This morning he wasn't woken by Ian. Instead of him, it was someone just nudging him repeatedly and telling him to get up, and even though it was somewhat like the way Ian used to wake him, it was very different. He opened his eyes and his dark ones were greeted by clear blue. It was Jack.  
"What? Training's started earlier today?" Miles asked, groggily rubbing his eye with the back of his hand but received no reply. He wondered if Jack was still irritated about yesterday. "So, what? No more talking anymore?" He added.  
It got him a glare but even more silence.  
"Oh, fucking grow up, would you?"  
"Tough words coming from you."  
"Ah, he talks."  
"Go fuck yourself, Miles."  
That made some anger stir in his chest.  
"Is that why you woke me up? To be a fucking dick?"  
"Harvey asked me to."  
The mention of the name managed to calm him down and he glanced around the room to look for him but saw no one. No Harvey or Ian. Miles looked back at Jack.  
"He's on the roof."  
He only offered that and stood up, making no motion to leave or even back up. It frustrated Miles but managed to bring that anger to simmer down. He pushed himself off the bed and quickly put some pants on then tried to tame his messy brown hair with his fingers but that proved to be hopeless. Miles looked at Jack in the mirror and he was now sitting on his bed, hands clasped together and he didn't know why but seeing him like that made Miles feel some tightness in his chest.  
"Where's Ian?"  
The question rolled off his tongue as a reflex.  
"That's what Harvey wants to talk about."  
*****  
The next few minutes were frantic as Miles was running through the busy corridors that were just getting lively with soldiers who tried to power up with some food before their morning assignments. He bumped into a few who shouted insults at him before he reached the staircase and momentarily tripped on the last few steps. His knee ached but Miles quickly scrambled to his feet and threw the door open. Harvey was seemingly taken aback by that as he straightened up to face Miles and he nodded at something behind him and he assumed it was Jack which was confirmed once he heard the door closed.  
"Harvey, what? What's going on? Is Ian okay?" Miles started blurting out questions as he made his way to the other man who gestured his chin at Jack.  
"I told you to keep it simple. Not to scare him."  
"I couldn't keep it more simple than that, Harv."  
Miles couldn't take that anymore.  
"Could someone please tell me what the fuck is happening?"  
Harvey paused for a second, Jack moved around Miles to go stand near him. It was always like that and Miles wondered if he considered Jack his second in command because it seemed that he was the only one in the dark.  
"Now don't panic but we can't find Ian."  
"What do you mean you can't find Ian?!"  
"Miles, Harv told you not to panic. We don't want the whole fucking QZ to know he's missing."  
"Missing? Missing how?" He tried in a more calm tone.  
"Jack woke up and saw that his bed was empty. We looked around and he wasn't there. Not in the gym, courtyard, or mess hall."  
"Do you think...?"  
Miles started but trailed off. The possibility was there but could Ian pull it off? Thankfully Harvey seemed to read his mind.  
"I don't want to think about that right now. For now, let's just hope he's here and we have to find him before training otherwise Doss would give him shit for that and I'm sure right now it's the last thing he needs. We'll split up, alright? Ja-"  
"Maybe he's not in the building. It's a big ass QZ, Harvey." Jack interjected.  
That seemed to give Harvey pause. Miles wondered what he was thinking about.  
"Right then. The question we need to ask is where he usually hangs out. Split up and we'll regroup in the central square after 20 minutes tops. If anyone asks, We're going for a jog."  
"What if we don't find him?" Miles asked.  
Harvey pressed his lips together. Jack was quick to answer.  
"Then it's trouble. If Doss gets a whiff of this, it'll be over. So, we need to find him."  
They had launched their search party. Miles headed to the park and searched among the faces for Ian's but had no luck. He went from building to building in hopes of finding him, his heart ached every time he considered that something bad had happened or confirming his worst fear that he had done something without thinking. He was so consumed in his thoughts that he bumped into someone but it was just Jack. He looked like he was going to call him something like how much he was a fucking idiot but stopped and fell silent.  
"Did you find him?"  
"No. I was on my way to the square."  
Miles frowned his eyebrows and put a hand on his forehead. He felt his chest tighten as he felt himself slowly become overwhelmed with worry.  
"Do you think he left? Fuck... If he left.."  
"Ran away? C'mon, Miles. Be reasonable. I don't think he did."  
"Then where is he? Why's he hiding from us? I just hope he's alright."  
"Trust me, he'll be fine. We'll just... Try it from another angle, okay? He's bound to be here somewhere."  
"Someplace where he won't found. I just thought if he's upset he'd need someone to comfort him. He always did."  
Miles muttered and looked down in defeat, having run out of places to look and his anxiety skyrocketing with every passing minute they didn't get any answers. Jack on the other hand seemed to have his emotions under control and that was something to envy. Miles had his fallouts with Jack but he wished he dealt with things like how he did. He watched him and noted his silence, was he still angry about yesterday?  
"Jack..." He started.  
"If you want to talk about what happened, save it. We just have to find Ian now and that's all that matters."  
"But--"  
Jack turned to face him, his jaw clenched. His tone firm.  
"Miles. Not now."  
"I just--"  
"Why can't you just listen to me the first time I say something? You drive me crazy every fucking time and sometimes I feel like I can't take it. It doesn't matter, okay? Can we let that go?"  
He was about to insist to talk but felt as if Jack would walk away once he did. His blue eyes were fixed on him as if he could see into his brain but he somewhat knew that it was a subtle warning. Miles sighed, nodded then looked down at his shoes.  
"Good. Now let's get going. Got any ideas on where he might be before we get to the square?"  
Miles was still deep in thought, his mind didn't move from the topic as quickly as Jack changed it. He just followed the other man, for now, assuming he had some secret plan that would solve everything. They made their way to the square once their search proved fruitless. As they were walking, a boy bumped into Jack.  
"Hey, watch where you're going, dickwad." The boy said without missing a beat.  
"I'd fuck off if I were you."  
"You don't scare me."  
"I'm a fucking soldier, you better watch the way you talk to me."  
The boy seemed almost cautious at first but then examined Jack's body.  
"Oh, yeah? Where's your gun, soldier? Forgot it in your big, bad locker?"  
Miles saw that Jack was getting angry and his self-control was melting away.  
"What are you going to do? Shoot me? Oh, please don't shoot me with your imaginary gun."  
The boy said mockingly, putting his hands up in feigned fear. Miles grabbed Jack's arm but he immediately pulled it from his grasp and reached to grab the boy's shirt to pull him closer.  
"Jack, we don't have time for this. Let's go. He's just a fucking kid"  
"Yeah, Jack. I think you're late for being someone's bitch."  
Jack immediately punched him as easily as if it was just a reflex for him. Like him swatting his hand to shoo away a mosquito. As usual, it was too quick for Miles to do anything about it but the boy fought back with an ill-timed punched that he dodged and soon he shoved him. The boy fell on the ground and they managed to gather a few looks from the civilians around them. A nearby older man who Miles knew was a lieutenant called out and asked everyone to leave then approached both of them, turning to the boy and pulled him up.  
"Go home. Go to your parents."  
The boy looked up at the soldier and then scurried away and it was as if that whole boldness he had displayed had been shattered by him seeing a real soldier who happened to carry a weapon. Miles and Jack were greeted by the disapproving glare on his face. Miles actually felt nervous with the whole encounter, they didn't quite need this trouble. Jack, on the other hand, had no trouble mirroring that glare.  
"What the fuck do you think you're doing? Explain yourself."  
Jack said nothing. The man looked at Miles who immediately looked away. He observed both of them.  
"Who's your unit commander?"  
"Rick Doss, sir," Miles said quietly.  
"Ah, you're his band of misfits, aren't you? Well, that's the last thing we need right now. Follow me."  
He said and walked ahead. They both looked at each other but didn't follow and once the soldier saw that they weren't following him, he repeated his order.  
"I said to follow me, soldier."  
"Si--" Miles began, trying to explain the situation but he wouldn't listen and insisted that they needed to follow him. Jack was reluctant to walk at first but he soon followed Miles. The man led them back to the base. They crossed the courtyard, the mess hall and he could tell that Jack was searching faces just like he was doing in hopes of just seeing Ian since they sure won't be meeting Harvey in the square. Miles was annoyed that Jack couldn't keep his anger in check now that the worry and fear had dissolved during the walk and turned into frustration. Soon the soldier led them to his office and gestured for both of them to follow and take a seat in one of the two chairs in front of a desk which had papers littered on it along with an old nameplate which said, Edward. It seemed messy but Miles could tell it wasn't because the man was untidy but perhaps because it was a busy week because the rest of the office seemed quite tidy, all the surfaces were wiped clean and there was no dust. He told them to take a seat and they did, both eager to end this so they can deal with the other matter on their hands.  
"Sir, with all due respect, we have training," Jack said.  
"I'm aware. This won't take long, I just want to understand what happened." He said as he leaned back in his chair.  
"Just some fucking kid who got in my face."  
"And that made you punch him?"  
"I don't think you heard the part 'got in my face' "  
Miles looked at him for a while as he exchanged words with Jack. His black hair was losing a furious battle with the grey. He had deep lines in his forehead along with thick eyebrows and his face looked stern.  
"I did, son. I did. But that's no excuse to punch a boy. If you get in my face right this moment, would it be acceptable if I punch you? Would you think that's fair or even a reason to assault someone?"  
That gave Jack pause and Miles just patiently waited for him to finish whatever he wanted to tell them. Edward took that as an answer and began tidying the papers on his desk but he spoke again.  
"Well, yeah. Superior officers can do whatever the hell they want."  
"Our job mostly consists of bringing order, we're a spark of hope to people. We're here to protect them from threats. We're not here to run some sort of dictatorship. We have to know the difference between right and wrong and enforce that. Following that, I could hit you or anyone else here could but the thing is, no one has a right to lay his hand on you."  
"Why are you telling us this?" Jack said softly.  
"Because you carry on that spark of hope. You kids are the future of this quarantine zone. People are already scared and there's so much uncertainty in the world. I know there are so many wrong things with the military nowadays but we could share that and bring that trust back in the army. We don't want to add to the people's growing concern with decreasing rations and increasing attacks."  
Miles listened to him then in the corner of his eye saw Jack looking at his fingernails. Edward seemed to notice that too and then was silent. Miles wondered if it would be rude if he were to excuse themselves but the man spoke again.  
"I will not force you. I only want you to think of what I'm telling you. We're protectors of the people and not some barbaric oppressors. We stop whatever evil and malice we see, that's how we limit its spread so we don't hurt others. Even if it might seem like it's the only choice, it's all up to you to handle it correctly. Even if someone tells you to hurt someone. If you don't want to, you don't have to. You always have a choice."  
He said and his eyes moved between the two of them. Miles narrowed his eyes and stared at him for a moment but Edward looked down at his desk.  
"You can go now but try to be good and please refrain from injuring the civilians."  
Jack was the first to stand up and Miles was quick to follow. Soon, they were both out of his office and put some distance between them before any of them decided to speak.  
"God, that was the worst. Can you believe that guy? Bullshit. What a waste of time, c'mon, we gotta find Harvey and see if he found something."  
Miles chewed on the inside of his lip as Jack walked ahead. He didn't think that was a waste of time. Not even a little bit. He understood it to an extent. What interested him was that last part. Did he know something? Or was that just random? Jack's voice snapped him out of thoughts.  
"It's Harvey."  
He walked closer and looked at both of them.  
"I, Jesus, where were you two? I was looking for you guys."  
"We had some problems to deal with. Did you get lucky?" Miles asked.  
Harvey was about to answer but then was silent looked past them and when they both followed Harvey's gaze, they saw it was Ian. He was back. Miles couldn't believe his eyes.  
"Hey." Ian started quietly.  
"Hey?" Miles whispered and then pulled him to a hug which surprised Ian but he was gracious about it and held him back before he was pushed back. "I was worried about you. I thought..."  
"We thought the fucking worst when you disappeared, you fucking idiot. What were you?" Jack said as he punched his shoulder lightly. Miles watched Ian, expecting him to move away from Jack but he played it cool.  
"I went out for a walk but then I remembered about the wager Harvey put yesterday. I know we didn't exactly point out who won on that patrol but... when I came back, I decided to go to the kitchen to get some snacks. I had to wait a while because it was lunchtime but I somehow ended up in Doss's locker and my instinct just told me to crack it open to see what's in and I found a bottle of liquor which I gracefully confiscated along with other stuff. Now I have an idea, Harvey, you can't say no."  
They all looked at Harvey who seemed like he was caught the moment his lips moved to talk.  
"C'mon, Harv. He said you can't say no."  
"He comes bearing gifts, surely we can skip training. New rule. No training when there's booze" Jack said with a grin.  
Harvey didn't protest what they said and Miles felt like he was doing plenty of that mentally. He was always so serious about the rules and everything else. They ended up on the roof and just to make sure they would be alone, Jack barricaded the door with a metal pipe. Ian sat down and set his backpack next to him to pull out a bottle that said "whiskey" on the faded sticker. They all sat down in a circle, observing the last moments of the day as the sun was almost gone. It was moments like these that Miles would appreciate, him and those three just having some harmless fun as they did a year ago.  
"Okay, children. One sip each and please do not lick the fucking bottle." Jack said, snatching the bottle from Ian. He didn't seem to mind as he looked into his backpack for more things.  
"Fuck, Doss is gonna be really pissed," Miles said with a chuckle.  
"Let him. If he asks any one of you, we were never there and he can fuck himself, yeah?" Jack looked at his friends then back at the bottle to open it and finally get a taste of the whiskey. Miles watched him curiously, he had never tasted alcohol before and wondered how it would be. Instead, he turned his attention to Ian and leaned in to whisper to him.  
"Hey, are you okay?"  
Ian looked at him and shrugged lightly and offered a small smile which made Miles wonder which one of them he attempted to comfort. He bit on his lips lightly and reached over to squeeze his arm reassuringly and it was all Ian needed. He nodded in silent understanding.  
"Yo, it's your turn, Fox. Have some of that. It's actually good." Jack said as he passed the bottle.  
"Good? It just fucked burned my throat." Harvey said with a cough.  
"Then don't gulp it all at once, yeah? Actually, you deserve that for being greedy. Hey, small sips."  
Miles nodded and held up the bottle to sip from the bottle. It was nothing like he expected and it burned just like what Harvey said. He lowered the bottle and put the back of his hand to his mouth, trying not to cough. It went like that for a while, Jack amusing himself with how they handled their alcohol. He coughed as well and he knew that deep down it was just all of them that were just inexperienced with alcohol but Jack would never admit that. The next hour were them just chatting, laughing, having no care in the world. For now, it seemed that this whole wide terrible world was theirs and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Miles blinked as he felt himself feeling weird like his chest was on fire, his hand moved to grasp his shirt as if he could touch that heat.  
"So, Harvey. Tell us about that chick you were speaking to last night." Jack started.  
That made Miles' eyebrows furrow together and he glanced at Harvey who just laughed at first. Ian soon joined on trying to make him talk with Jack. Soon, there was this chant going on that demanded Harvey to talk about this girl.  
"Okay. Her name's Margo." He started.  
"Oooooh, Margo," Ian said with a chuckle. "So, tell us about her. Argh, you know, this actually means that you'll be the first one who'll get laid."  
"Hey, not the first one," Jack added.  
"Do you have someone? I sure don't see someone. So, shut up." Ian said and turned to Harvey, clearly amused despite hearing Jack scoff. "Tell us."  
"Well, I'm not going to just sleep with her, if that's what you mean. Would be difficult anyways. I think we're just getting to know each other right now."  
"And... do you like her?" Miles finally joined that playful interrogation.  
"Yeah. Yeah, I think I do." Harvey said then chuckled. "You boys better not hope on me giving you more details. Just letting you know."  
The next hour passed Harvey talked about the mysterious Margo, counting what he liked about her. Ian and Jack listened to him and Miles just held the bottle after Jack's excitement with it had faded. His fingers slowly peeled the sticker which came off easily, trying not to bother himself too much. After they had determined that the laughing made their stomachs hurt, they tried to settle down and silence followed but it was a comfortable silence.  
"Guys..." Ian started, the smile which was on his face had managed to get wiped off. "I...I know you might get angry but... I want to go back for that woman's kid."  
That was greeted by absolute silence. Miles felt as if the world stopped turning and the time was flowing very slowly. He looked at Harvey at first who didn't offer anything.  
"If you want that. I'm with you, Ian." Miles said anyway.  
"Are you fucking se--" Jack started but was interrupted by Ian.  
"I'm asking. You can stay back. I'm not forcing you because I know how much I'm asking of you and I..." He trailed off.  
"Are you both insane? Leaving the QZ unauthorized? Do you understand the problem here?" Harvey said.  
"I do, Harvey. But I can't just live with myself knowing there's a lone kid out there who no longer has a mother to care for him. I just can't and I'm not dragging anyone with me against their will. I'm perfectly fine with going on my own." Ian answered calmly.  
"You have to be really fucking drunk to actually consider that," Jack said.  
"It's not the alcohol. I already made my mind and you can't change it. So, I'm telling you. Are you with me?"  
"I'm with you," Miles said and looked at the other two. Harvey didn't start his usual lecture about the order which was strange because this was the perfect time for it. He noticed Jack's eyes on him but he was quick to look away with a shake of his head.  
"Miles, are you insane? Are you both crazy?"  
"If Ian wants to do this, I won't let him go out there on his own," Miles replied firmly with determination.  
Jack saw that there was no amount of yelling or insults which could change their minds.  
"Fine then. Rather be with you then wonder if you're fucking dead or infected." Jack said.  
They all looked at Harvey who remained silent. Miles's face softening once his eyes met his own. He exhaled and eased up his shoulders.  
"You can say no, Harv. I'm not--" Ian began but got cut off by Harvey.  
"You're not forcing me. That's not the problem. It's trying to stop me." He finally said.

It only felt real after Harvey accepted. At that moment, it felt like they were trying to fulfill some sort of hero destiny where they protected people from all the dangers and it felt empowering and as much as it scared him to go out there depending on their own, he felt that with his friends, he was ready.


	4. The Morning After

Miles couldn't remember how they made it back to the room but there they were. He didn't wake up on his bed, but on the ground. He rested his head on a book that he's never even noticed before. The sun slipping past the torn cloth that they called curtains bothered him and he turned his head to the other side to escape the harsh light. He didn't remember much from last night but it was one of the best he's ever had and he wished his body would agree with him but it had other plans. Unpleasant ones. His cheek pressed against the cold cover of the book as he thought about last night, he couldn't help but think of Ian and the drunken statement he had made him. He felt a tinge of fear and wondered if that made him a coward. It was good, at least he wasn't thinking about Margo so he welcomed the notion of another equally unpleasant thought to keep him busy.

The door opened and Harvey walked in, Miles's eyes followed the source of the noise and saw that he was shirtless and only had shorts on. They made eye contact, it was inevitable since Miles loudly gasped which he had mentally cursed himself for.

"Morning, sleepyhead. You sleep good?" He said and wiped his face with the cloth that was draped around his neck.

Miles's mouth opened and closed, even if he spoke, it would be inaudible, not even remotely comprehendible.

"You okay there, buddy?" Harvey asked, a little concerned.

He nodded at Harvey, his eyes still on him. Harvey nodded and threw the cloth aside, hanging it on the back of the nearby chair. Miles gulped and then looked up at his bunk, he could see Jack's hand hanging off the bed. He wondered if Harvey was starting to think some alcohol made him brain dead.

"I'd put you in bed but you just looked so comfortable," Harvey spoke again, his back to him now as he tended to some clothes he had placed on his bed. He couldn't see his face but the smile was evident in his words.

"Yeah, thanks for that. How very gracious of you." Miles finally answered. His lips were so dry, just pulling them apart required much effort.

"Actually, that was partly true. I just felt like if I moved you, you'd throw up on me."

"I mean, I am not feeling so hot right now. So, I get that." 

Miles chuckled which made Harvey turn around to look at him with a gentle smile.

"I dunno, you're looking pretty fine to me."

He approached Miles and pulled him up carefully. Miles felt lightheaded once he stood up and held Harvey's arms to stabilize himself. 

"Hey, hey, easy. No throwing up on me, yeah?"

Miles chuckled and slowly looked up at him but for just a second, he looked down at his arms.

"You're going to have a shower anyway, right?"

"That doesn't mean I want you throwing up on me."

He said it with that smile of his which Miles only noticed once he looked up at him a second time but this time he didn't look away. He did silently hope that he wouldn't puke right this instance.

"Okay, we're gonna move to sit on that chair. Baby steps."

"What time is it?"

"Er, I'd say around lunchtime."

Harvey led him to sit and put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. Miles watched him, he seemed to handle his alcohol better than he did. Just that little movement stirred an emotional explosion inside him.

"Also, heh, don't go anywhere, okay? I'll be back."

He told Miles as he pointed his finger at him, after that he picked up a change of clothes and went out to have that shower. Miles had thought of responding with something witty but decided against it. He found himself thinking about all the things Harvey could tell him. He just hoped that it wouldn't be bad. He couldn't deal with bad things today. He thought of last night again, somehow passing the little threat of nausea that accompanied the memories, trying to remember the small details of last night.

"You guys done flirting?"

Miles looked up at the direction the voice came from and saw that it was Jack. He was awake. He let out a low scoff and looked away at the window. 

"We weren't--" He stopped himself. "It's not your business, okay? So.. mind your own fucking business."

He said, his words becoming more heated suddenly. He heard Jack let out a chuckle but didn't look back at him. 

"So, Ian's still sleeping, hm?"

Miles peered at Ian's bed. He was still fast asleep. He seemed so peaceful. Jack spoke again, seemingly not looking for an verbal answer. He sat up and rubbed his head.

"Do you... remember what Ian said? Or.. am I imagining things?"

"You're not imagining things. I remember it. Well, at least I think I do." Miles answered quietly. Only remembering both things because of the emotional impact it held.

"Do you think he was being serious or is it just the whiskey talking? Because you'd be surprised how often that happens."

"I think Ian meant what he said. In the case that he did, and that's probably how it is, I'd go with him."

The way he said it surprised him. It was like the words of a fearless hero. Something he was sure he was not.

"Die with him. That's the word you're looking for."

Miles furrowed his eyebrows and looked back at him. His face seemed peaceful, like he wasn't just talking about the death of both his friends.

"You're bailing out."

"I don't think we fully considered this. Harvey's obviously against it but he won't explicitly say so but have you ever given it thought? You're going out there alone."

He pointed at what Miles assumed was the direction of the outer wall. It made him furrow his eyebrows once again, turning his attention back to the window.

"You're scared, aren't you?" The way he said that was soft.

Miles froze in his chair. It was like he could see right through him but he didn't look back at him.

"It's okay if you're scared. I don't want to shit on Ian's wishes but I just don't want you to get both of you killed and for what?."

He looked back at Jack, his jaw clenched.

"We're not going to die."

"You know what's out there, don't be ridiculous. Just because you want to play hero doesn't make the threats out there non-existent. This is not a fucking comic book. This is life. Real life."

Miles chewed on his lip for just a moment.

"It's okay if you're scared, Jack."

Jack didn't respond and just looked away. Miles looked back at Ian, he was either still asleep or was good at pretending he was. After a few minutes of silence, Harvey walked back in and Miles expected Jack to immediately bombard him with questions or ask him to convince both of them that it was crazy but nothing came from him until Harvey spoke.

"Morning, Jack. I mean it's not even morning anymore but you know."

"Can I talk to you?"

For some reason, Harvey looked back at Miles. Jack got off the bed and walked out. Soon, Harvey followed him. Miles knew what he was going to talk about so he just got off the chair and walked out the door. Much to Jack's dismay which was obvious in the look he gave him once he saw that he had come along.

"Miles, fuck off."

"No. I know what you want to say and last time I checked, it was my business as well." Miles insisted despite the glare Jack gave him.

"What's this about?"

Harvey asked.

"About last night. I'm sure you thought about it now and how crazy it is."

"It is crazy, I'm not denying that," Harvey said.

Jack glanced at Miles as if he was saying 'i told you so.' 

"So, what now?" He said after he looked at Harvey to ignore Jack and the look on his face.

"Miles, just think for a while. We were just drunk. Ian was drunk. Look, maybe he won't even mention it when he wakes up." Harvey said.

"What if he does talk about it? What if he's serious? What then?"

"Then Harvey and I knock some sense into him," Jack said. "And in you as well. You're not thinking straight. You and the amateur way you handle booze."

Miles didn't even think. He didn't even comprehend why that made him angry but he shoved Jack. Harvey tutted and grabbed Miles's shoulder to pull him back, by now he had become an expert at how their mood can be explosive at times.

"Jack, quit it. You said talk, not fight." Harvey said, his arm still grabbing his shoulder just in case he lunges at Jack. "Miles, settle down."

"Harv, just talk to Ian. He'd listen to you." Jack said.

Harvey didn't say anything, he only considered it in silence.

"Hey, you fucking pricks."

The three of them looked at corridor and saw that it was Doss, walking over to them. Jack was the first to run. Miles glanced at Harvey, swearing he could see him nod faintly and he ran for it despite Doss telling them to stop. He turned a corner and looked behind him to see if Harvey was behind him but he wasn't. He ran as fast as he could, trying not to bump into the soldiers and pushed a door open. There was a fire escape and he quickly made his way down, jumping off once the ground was close. Miles crossed the courtyard, there was an ongoing match of basketball which he momentarily interrupted, earning him a generous amount of insults. He turned in his tracks and slipped underneath the row of bleachers to catch his breath and maybe hide here for a while. He wondered where the bottle was. Was it still on the roof or maybe they took it back to the room? He hoped it was the former. Miles moved closer to see that Doss was walking around the basketball court, looking around for them. He slowly moved the other way to run back into the building once Doss had taken the opposite way. Once he had determined that he was a safe distance, he moved underneath the bleachers to run and went through the back of the building and ended up in the locker room and knew it was for the higher ranking officers within the military, Some lockers were in a shape of a semi-circle but the rest straightened out to create two rows of lockers, there was another door which he saw that it led to the showers. One of them was not closed properly because it couldn't be, the lock was broken and bent badly, probably a result of being forced open and upon closer inspection, it had Doss's name written on the small tag on the outer part. Profanities were written in bold letters on both the outside and the inside, it made him snort.

"You're back for more? Once just isn't enough for you?"

The voice made chills run down Miles's back. He didn't need to look back to know it was Doss.

"You're either too stupid or too fucking cocky to come back here."

He closed the distance before Miles could even turn around and grasped a handful of his hair, pushing his face against the cold steel. 

"You proud of this? Huh? Come to admire your work? Admire it then."

He pulled his head back and banged it against the broken locker. Miles gritted his teeth, putting his hands on the locker to push himself back. Doss banged his head again then pulled him back, whispering in his ear.

"You think you're a wise ass? Real tough guy? Huh? Trying to be a badass? I know your type. I woulda seen it coming from Walker but heh, consider me surprised."

He whispered against his ear then pulled him away to turn him around and squeezed his face with his hand. His other free hand patted his pockets, searching for something.

"You're going to tell me where my things are. Or else. Did someone put you up to this?"

"I drank it. Poured the rest down the drain. It was horrible." He blurted out against his grasp.

"You... poured my whiskey down the drain?"

Miles gulped hard, he could see the anger building up in Doss. His large hand moved to rest on his throat. He felt his heart racing in his chest. His eyes frantically moved between his hand and his face. He felt his hand slowly tightened his hold on his neck, wondering if the control he tried to put up was shattering. Miles raised his head up and squirmed, not wanting to be around Doss for much longer. He lifted his knee to target his crotch but Doss expected that and brought his knees together. That stirred a new wave of anger in him and he punched Miles, making him fall on the ground then he got on top of him, his hands moved to his throat again, not showing restraint this time. Miles could taste blood, fresh blood was flowing from the cut on his lip. He felt dazed after that punch like this reality was scattered three times in front of him. A horrible de-ja-vu.

"You little shit. Do you understand how hard it was to find a good bottle of alcohol in this fucking city?"

Miles coughed and gasped for breath. Droplets of blood landed on Doss's face and he didn't even seem to mind. His eyes were dark, radiating malicious intent. Miles talked big but knew he looked pretty scared right now, that was probably what was amusing Doss right now. Was he going to die here? He clawed at Doss's hands and wrists and tried to move his legs to attempt to kick him off. The larger man moved his knee to pin Miles's lower body so he would move less. His vision was getting darker and darker, his breath shallower and shallower until he heard a voice which invaded the blackness like a harsh light. 

"Doss, what the fuck?!"

He pulled him off. Once Miles felt his hands let go of his throat, he took in a deep breath and coughed, a hand flew to his neck to hold it and he scrambled to get away from Doss. The other man leaned down and pulled Miles off the ground.

"Are you okay?" He asked him as he still held onto him. "Get to the medical wing if you feel like you're about to pass out."

Miles moved away from his grip, keeping his hand on his throat.

"Noah, get the fuck off my back." Doss protested. "This is between me and him."

"It's not gonna look good for you if you kill a goddamn kid. Coulda roughed him up a little. Hmm." Noah held Miles's chin with his index and thumb tilted his head to observe his bloody lip, he spoke coldly and oddly calm. Miles moved away from his hand. "Which you already did."

"It was one punch. I feel sorry for this brat if he can't take that."

"Get out of here before he kills you."

Noah pushed him lightly and Miles slowly walked out the way he came. He felt lightheaded and leaned on the door frame to catch his breath but quickly forced himself to move because he didn't want to remain here because he believed him. He stumbled in the hallway as he walked, keeping his eyes on the way in front of him. His hand remained on his neck as if to protect it. Soon, he saw that he was in front of the room, he lifted his hand to open the door. He walked inside, not looking at anything in particular.

"Miles?"

He heard Harvey say but he didn't respond.

"Fuck, you're bleeding. Are you alright?" Ian said. "Miles?!"

"Fucking say something." Jack blurted. "Anything."

But Miles couldn't say anything even if he wanted to. He took a deep breath, his neck ached just a little bit. 

"Miles, who did this? Just give me a name. Tell me something." Jack pressed on.

"Jack, don't pressure him."

They bickered for a while and soon Ian joined them. Miles somehow managed to find peace in that. He laid back on his bed and curled up in a ball, pulling the covers on him. The conversation seemed to get even further away and he didn't know if it was because of them deciding to stop or him suddenly slowly blacking out.

*****

"You're not getting away this time."

He opened his eyes, seeing Doss standing over him. He leaned down and grabbed his shirt to pull him up. Miles couldn't even say anything. His hands wrapped around his throat once again and this time just squeezed. Harder and harder. The look on his face was haunting, his face was dark and Miles felt the life slip away from him. And he smiled. Doss only smiled. 

"No, please! No!"

He screamed out. He looked around frantically, his hand immediately flying to his throat. It was just a dream. Just a dream. Miles felt himself trembling and brought his knees up to hug his legs. He rocked slowly back and forth with his eyes closed. He told himself that he was being ridiculous. That he was being a coward. He felt someone touch his arm and he jumped.

"Fuck. Sorry. Are you okay?"

Miles relaxed once he saw it was Ian who put down a backpack once he saw that he was awake. Miles nervously bit on his lip and nodded, looking down at his knees, trying to calm down his breathing.

"Bad dream? I have lots of those."

He sat down on the edge of the bed with his back facing him. Miles ran his hand through his hair and remained silent. He just hoped it would go away. That it would just be like that dream. A distant memory.

"Did you get anything to eat today?"

Miles shook his head. He wasn't feeling hungry and he felt he couldn't even if he wanted to. He licked his lips to try and moisturize them as they were dry, the metallic taste reminded him of what happened. He was thankful that Ian didn't press the matter.

"You don't want to talk about it? The dream?"

"No."

His voice sounded hoarse and he wondered if it was because of the incident or just the sleep. His throat hurt whenever he swallowed and when he touched it.

"We tried to clean your lip but... we didn't want to wake you up."

He looked around, the room was dark. No light came from the window and the air blew in, it smelled like rain. Thunder rumbled as if to confirm his thoughts.

"Where's Jack and Harvey?"

"I don't know. I think they're talking about last night."

"Oh."

"I know what they're talking about."

"Oh." Miles said again, not really knowing what else to say.

"It was wrong to ask that of you. To go with me. They're right, it was crazy."

Miles looked at Ian, he wished he would look back at him but that wasn't the case. Ian looked down at his hands and the next minute was spent in silence. Could he have heard them? 

"Hey, get something to eat, though. Okay?" 

Ian said and reached out to pat his knee before he got up. Miles watched him and didn't answer. Then suddenly in a quick move, Ian grabbed his wrist and handcuffed him to the bed.

"Wh-.."

"I'm sorry, Miles." Ian said and picked up the backpack he had set down earlier. Miles rattled the cuff as if he needed the sound of clanking metal to convince him that this was actually happening.

"Ian."

He finally turned around to look at him. He had a frown on his face and took a few steps back.

"It's just something I have to do. I know you would've wanted to come along and you know what? You're better off here. I'll be back soon."

"Ian, don't-... Don't do this. Let me go."

"I can't."

"Why not? Un-cuff me, Ian. Don't go out there alone." Miles said, desperately pulling on his restraints.

"I have to."

"No, you don't have to. You don't have to do this alone. Please."

Ian pressed his lips in a tight line, looking back at Miles.

"You know, Jack was right about one thing. I don't want you guys to get yourselves killed because of me."

"What?! You're just being unreasonable, Ian. You're not superhuman! It's not like you can't die as well."

"Miles... I never said I was invincible. I know. Do you think I don't know that? That I can die? I know.. and you know what? This kid will die. What does it matter these days, yeah? Kids die every day but not if you can do something about it. At least I'll try. It's the least I can do. I can sleep easy and not see that woman's face every time I close my eyes. I hope you can understand that but if you don't it's fine."

Ian avoided Mile's eyes and he was thankful for that or he'd see him become rather emotional, although he felt like he was thinking the same thing. He inhaled a shaky breath.

"I gotta go before those two come back and hey," Ian looked at him, Miles could see that he was putting up a brave face. "If I don't make it, you can have my action figures."

That made Miles laugh but he had to contain himself for it not to turn into him bursting to tears.

"Ian..." Miles said once again.

"Get something to eat."

Ian said once again as some sort of last words and a subtle goodbye and slung the strap of the backpack on his shoulder and held up a pair of keys so Miles could see them, he assumed it was the handcuff keys. He tossed them on the desk. He didn't look back as he walked out the door and Miles couldn't help but feel foolish and helpless but didn't stop him from calling out to him as if his desperate cries could change his mind. He tugged on the cuff and it rattled softly. He leaned his head down on the pillow, hoping that Harvey and Jack would come back soon. But they didn't, he found himself wondering how Ian would have made it out of the QZ and if he even managed to do it without getting caught. It started to rain and he wondered if this was his plan all along, using the storm as a cover. If so, it was smart. The cuff rattled and he looked at it, wondering where he got it from. Then it hit him. Doss' locker. Could he have stolen more than just the bottle? Perhaps Doss' outrage is what worked on hastening his plan. Better to move instead of getting caught red-handed stealing from your commanding officer. It wasn't like it mattered, Doss thought Miles was the one who did it. With that, his thoughts uncomfortably moved to think about the incident and he hated that. As if in synchronization, his throat ached. He lost sense of time passing and Miles had been exhausted from trying to get out of the handcuff, using anything he could reach to bang it on the metal cuff but all in vain. His thoughts exhausted him as well so he was thankful when he felt blank, just staring at the other bunk bed on the other side. Jack and Harvey walked in laughing, Miles didn't know why but that made him angry. Angry that they weren't around. The one thing Jack was good for, running his goddamn mouth yet when it made a difference, he wasn't there.

"Miles?" Harvey said, smile fading now as he saw the cuff. He ran over, shaking it. Miles wanted to make a snarky comment but bit his tongue. "Who cuffed you?"

"Get them off. The keys are on the desk. Quick." Miles said, sitting up. He was ready for these cuffs to get off.

Harvey quickly retrieved the keys and un-cuffed Miles. He rubbed his wrist and picked up his backpack. 

"Ian handcuffed me to the bed." Miles said without looking back at them.

"No fucking way. The son of a bitch did it." Jack said, looking back at Harvey, putting two and two together.

Miles could smell the smoke that suddenly invaded the room. He clenched his fist and then turned to look back at them.

"Where the fuck were you? I was here for two hours! If you were here, Ian would have never gotten away. And what? You were god knows where fucking smoking?"

"That's not fair." Harvey started.

"I told you to talk to him, Harvey," Jack said.

"I already did! He said he had moved past it, he laughed at how crazy it was." Harvey said.

"Because he fucking heard us talking." Miles groaned angrily. "Fuck."

"That does not give you the right to lash out at us," Jack grumbled.

"Yeah, but you know what, Jack? I gave myself that right." He said without turning around to look at them. He picked up his backpack but Jack reached to grab his arm.

"And what? Your solution is to go after him? Then what?"

Miles didn't know where he found the strength but he pulled his arm out of Jack's grasp in a swift movement.

"I don't know but I won't just sit here and do nothing."

He said with a glare and then walked out to figure out how to escape the QZ and then eventually catch up with Ian. He had no plan yet but for now, he knew what to do first.


	5. Alone

Miles wished he would've brought along a coat or anything to warm him up because it hadn't even been two minutes and he was already drenched. He made his way down to the courtyard using the fire escape. No one was allowed out when it was the assigned time for them to sleep, the roof mostly went undetected but the grounds were another story. Every minute passing by felt excruciating, his thoughts were flooded by the images of Ian getting hurt. He closed his eyes firmly, his hand moved to smack his head as if to chastise himself for even thinking those thoughts.

He hid behind a few boxes to wait for the passing guard to go around so he can pull himself up on the building and get past the wall. His first thought was him getting a gun and he knew where to find one. They weren't allowed their own guns unless they had completed three years in service, they were still on their second. He slowly moved to climb the boxes but was pulled back, a hand grabbed his shoulder. Miles quickly turned, pushing the body of the assailant away from him but saw it was Jack. 

"Hey! Fucking relax, you want us to get caught?" He said.

Miles was surprised to see him but he couldn't help but feel a sensation of relief wash over him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

He could see him narrowing his eyes like Miles had said something stupid.

"Making sure you two come back alive. Now come on, we're wasting time."

Miles looked at him for a moment, gulping hard. They had more important things to take care of.

"Where's Harvey?"

"He's staying behind." He said and scanned their surroundings. "Out of the two of us, Mr. Goodie Two Shoes is more likely to get away with a lie. They wouldn't expect him to anyway. We still need to find Ian quickly before the sun comes up or else it would be a shitstorm. C'mon, this way."

"No, wait." Miles blurted out. "We need guns."

"I know that. What? You got some secret weapon warehouse I don't know about?"

"Where are we going?"

"Armory. I'm gonna pick the lock."

"Jack, that's too risky."

"You got a better idea? I'm not going out there without a gun."

"I know where we can find a gun."

"Then show me."

Miles nodded and then climbed the boxes, jumping over a nearby building that was glued to the wall, and then they were finally out on the streets. They wouldn't catch a break out there. The streets were empty except for soldiers who at the moment seemed like they kept watch over the ghosts in the wet darkness. Jack grabbed Miles's arm, pulling him inside an open window to avoid being detected by a few soldiers who were passing by.

"Where are we going here?"

"Just trust me."

******

The number of soldiers in the streets decreased once they got to the house Miles wanted to get to. Once he saw it, he felt a chill go down his back, feeling instantly cold and there was no way to know if it was because he was drenched or that he was here, standing right in front of that house. He guessed the lights were out but it was hard to be sure because of all the windows being boarded and it looked like it could be in better shape but what was a better shape in these times? It was a two-story house with a little porch where there was an old-looking chair. 

"What's this place? How are we going to get in?"

Miles nodded and fished the key from the pocket in his backpack, he had some trouble getting it in the keyhole but inhaled deeply as if that would temporarily stick his broken parts together to regain some of his drive. The door opened with a soft creak and everything looked exactly like it did the last time he saw it. He gestured for Jack to come in and closed the door behind him. Immediately, Miles went to work and felt the inside of the fireplace but there was nothing there. Space in there was empty, Miles looked again just to be sure, his hand panicking as it patted the wet brick.

"What?"

"It's not here. The box. It was here."

"What box?"

"Does it matter?"

"It does fucking matter--"

Suddenly the light came on, a man with grey hair held a gun and seemed to be surprised by who he saw. Both of them froze in response. Miles exhaled, putting his hands up in a calming manner.

"Miles?"

Jack seemed confused at first that he knew his name. Another minute, it came to him. It was his father. He chuckled at the situation, despite the gun being pointed at him. Miles breathed slowly, keeping his eyes on the man.

"Dad."

"What are you doing here?" He lowered the gun, eyes moving to Jack then back to Miles. As usual, he thought the world was his solo stage. He didn't give him any chance to reply. "You're not supposed to be here. You're supposed to be in school. What are you doing? Skipping? Wasting time on bullshit like this? You know, this is exactly why you would never get anywhere because you don't take things seriously. You'll be stuck being just a soldier for the rest of your life. Do you think you can make general this way? No."

"I didn't come for a lecture, alright? I need--"

He interrupted. The man put down the gun on the nearby table as he moved closer to Miles who instinctively took a step back. Jack watched carefully, his eyes on the man as he stepped close.

"I need you to stop whatever shit you're trying to pull right now and go back to school before I call them."

"Fuck..." Miles whispered out. "I didn't come here to skip school for a joy ride or whatever it is that you think is going on."

"Miles. You'll be stupid if you throw all that work down the drain."

"It's not even mine!" He burst out, surprising his father. "It's yours!"

It made him scoff.

"What nonsense are you on?"

"I never wanted to join the military! I never wanted to do all this shit. You forced me into it, telling me every day before I left home for that fucking school that I had to do great to make you proud but it wasn't even for me, was it, dad? It was for you."

Miles paused, avoiding eye contact. He wasn't ready to look at anyone right now.

"Mom told me that you tried to join the military back then but they wouldn't take you. And you know what, dad? I'm not some project or even a second chance. I don't have to live out this life that you built for me to bask in some old glory you couldn't even achieve. To live your life through me? No. I'm done with this shit."

His father seemed calm but before anyone even realized it. He closed the distance and grabbed both of Miles's wrists, holding him tight in place. He was pushed back against the wall and his father pressed his head against his with so much force it hurt. His eyes went dark for a second he thought he saw Doss's face. Something so painfully familiar, his own eyes widened with a mix of fear and surprise.

"I am your father and you will respect me." He said through gritted teeth, pressing Miles' head harder. "You'll learn to."

"Get off of him!"

Jack launched himself at Miles' father to push him off. He fell back on a table, knocking off a lamp that shattered once it hit the floor. Jack stood in front of Miles, putting an arm out, and with the other hand, he was holding that gun. He must've grabbed it when the man was busy with Miles.

"You touch him again and i'll kick your ass. I don't give a shit that you're old. It'll just make it easier for me."

Jack spat at the man, holding up the weapon. Miles was working on catching his breath and calming himself down before it escalated into a full-blown anxiety attack. 

"Miles? You alright?" Jack asked without looking back at him.

He heard the words but for some reason, they felt so far away. Like he was locked in a box. Jack gulped hard, feeling concerned when he didn't answer back, he gently grabbed his arm and led him out the door they came. 

"Miles! You better stop this shit."

His father called out. He could tell that he was following them. Jack never let his guard down, he watched him closely as he tried to move Miles.

"You don't talk to him. You talk to me, you hear me, asshole?"

"You're an insolent little rat and I'll--"

"You'll what? Report me? Call the army? Let me tell you one thing, you geezer. If you so much as utter a word to anyone about this. You see this?"

He gestured to Miles's busted lip.

"I'll say that you attacked us first when we didn't buy in your Firefly bullshit. You think I can't plant some pendants or propaganda posters here? You'll be shot in the street like the fucking dog you are. So, I beg you. Get some soldiers over here, make it fun for me."

The man grew silent after that. Jack squeezed Miles's arm and led him out of the house and into the rain but before he left, he caught a glimpse of his mother standing near the top of the stairs, silently staring as she always has. Once they had put between them and the house some distance, Jack shoved the gun into his waistband from behind. Everything just seemed so far away, like it didn't matter. Miles hated how weak he felt. How powerless. How cowardly. It was like that time under the bridge. A terrible de ja vu.

"Let's go, we're running out of time," Jack said and started to walk. 

Miles didn't follow. He just stood there. He couldn't even face his father and he thought he could face whatever was out there.

"Miles," Jack whispered, turning to him. "C'mon."

"I need to... I need to breathe." He said in such a feeble voice. His heart raced in his throat, his breaths fought against that sudden invasion.

He kept his eyes down and then noticed Jack's boots come in his line of vision. He was silent. He somewhat expected Jack to yell at him for wasting time but nothing came. Nothing but silence.

"Hey. Hey, easy does it." His voice was soft. 

He nodded. It hurt whenever he swallowed. It was the pain coupled with a lump forming in his throat. It was hell. Miles closed his eyes firmly and nodded again, he didn't know why he did it, at this point, it felt like an automatic response. Like his body just went into autopilot. He felt Jack's hand squeeze his arm.

"That helps."

He could hear Jack chuckle and he rubbed his arm. That did get him to relax just a bit, he knew he needed to be in another mindset for what's coming and the last thing he needed was to be a burden. Even to himself.

"You good?"

"I'm good." 

"Sure?"

"I told you I'm good. We need to get past the wall."

Miles could see Jack watching him in the corner of his eye, he didn't turn his way. He sucked in a breath that felt shakier than he intended and gestured for Jack to move. He complied and followed him, they had made it through shortcuts they were familiar with and then Miles stopped, glancing up at the lookout towers. He lifted his hand to block out the rain and the second he wanted to say something, he felt Jack's hand on his shoulder.

"Here, this way. There's a way out." He said and walked to an abandoned library. The windows were dark but perhaps because they were boarded up. 

"How do you know about this?"

"It doesn't matter. We have to move because this is only going to add some extra time on our hands to go the other way around."

He turned to look at Miles.

"Tell me you know where Ian is going."

Miles nodded.

"I... remember what she said. It was west from the main bridge and uh, yeah! A yellow sign."

"What was on the sign?"

"I dunno. It's just yellow."

"That's vague, you realize that, right?"

"Let's just go west from there and see."

"What if there's more than one yellow sign?"

"There won't be more than one yellow sign. C'mon, can we get a move on? We're wasting time."

Jack nodded faintly and walked ahead, moving around the building. There weren't many soldiers in this area and that was some sort of relief. Once they were around the back, Jack pushed one of the boards on the window and it was loose enough to move away from the window so they could enter. He went through first and then Miles followed him. He was definitely relieved that he wasn't in the rain anymore but he knew he'd be out there again soon. For now, he'd enjoy having a roof over his head. Jack pushed the board up against the window again.

"Jesus, it's cold," Miles muttered, hugging himself.

"You know, for a hothead like you, one would think you'd come prepared," Jack replied.

"I just wanted to catch up to Ian."

"I know, I know," Jack mumbled, he pulled off his backpack and unzipped it. He pulled out a raincoat and threw it to Miles. "Here. Fucking idiot."

Miles held up his hands and caught the coat, he looked at it as if to confirm it was his. It was.

"What? You had this the entire time?"

"Well, between you and your daddy issues, there was no time to give it to you. I kind of forgot. This way." Jack turned on his flashlight and walked to the far side of the wall and moved a table away from it then leaned down to pick up a wooden board but made sure to keep the rug attached to it. There was a way that leads underground. A tunnel.

"Get in there."

Miles slowly jumped down and narrowed his eyes to see as he switched on his flashlight. It was a small tunnel, he had to crouch to move. For now, he waited for Jack, he heard him drop down and that made him look back. The way was somewhat of a tight fit for two people so Jack squeezed past to move first. He followed him. It smelled musty and it was stuffy but he was thankful he wouldn't be there for a long time. The tunnel went on and led into a spacious sewer tunnel which was almost flooding on the sides and he wondered if it was because of the rain or the river. 

They had walked for a while. It was just as musty as the tight tunnel. Jack walked calmly ahead of him and he was silent. Miles eyed him for a moment, wondering how he knew about this tunnel but for now, he had other things to worry about.

****

He wasn't sure how much time it's been but as long as there was no light in the sky, that was a good thing. They still had time. So far it's been quiet but that made him more anxious. The streets seemed to be clear but he still heard infected in the distance and that shriek made chills go down his spine. 

"Alright, That's the bridge." Jack stopped and gestured at that. It was straight ahead. Miles glanced at it then looked to the west, he didn't know what he expected to see but the rain and darkness made sight difficult. They walked to the west and the rain managed to do them a favor of keeping them concealed. Miles stuck close to Jack because he had the gun. 

"You know, I think we need to look around for some supplies," Jack said and headed towards a store.

"Alright."

It had a dusty glass front. It seemed to be a bar from what the sign said. Jack pulled out the gun and hit the glass with the grip. A clicker immediately jumped on him as the glass shattered down, twinkling in the shying moonlight that occasionally appeared from behind the clouds to peek at the destruction to add more into the moment that felt like it was in slow motion. Jack grunted and fought the clicker's grip, Miles stood there for a few seconds in shock, now acutely aware that he was unarmed. A gunshot echoed and the clicker's now lifeless body fell from Jack and he scrambled up to his feet to grab Miles' hand to hide behind a distant car just as more clickers and a runner showed up to where they were. 

"Gee, thanks for the fucking help." He whispered, annoyance still palpable in his voice.

"Sorry. What was I supposed to do? Kick it in the face?"

"Uh. Yeah?" He said somewhat louder than he intended. Miles covered his mouth as one clicker grew silent. The eye contact they exchanged was sufficiently charged for them to avoid conversation for a minute or two. Jack leaned his back on the car, pushing his wet hair back. Miles counted the infected and then whispered to Jack.

"Look, they're like four. We could take them out, right? How many bullets does that gun have? Six?"

"Actually, four. Since I just used one, it takes us down to three."

"What?"

"Your fucking dad did not reload this thing."

Miles wiped his face and shook his head. They really were going to die out here. No. Wait. He calmed himself down, trying not to focus on his racing heart echoing in the emptiness inside him. What could they do? Sneak? Maybe?

"Okay, what's the plan here?"

"Lemme think."

"How about we just move around them? Save time? We're already wasting time."

"Yeah? You know for all we know, Ian might be on the way back."

"Or he could be in trouble, Jack. Or dead." Miles said and turned to look at Jack.

The other read the seriousness of the look and stayed silent for once. Miles looked at the bunch of infected and slowly moved around the car. He told Jack to follow him. They moved slowly against the wall and made sure not to step on the broken glass. Miles jumped into the building first and Jack followed him now they were behind the bar stand. Jack moved up to see if the coast is clear but immediately moved down. All the other windows were intact, the main door was boarded up and it seemed to be quite a spacious bar with booths near the windows.

"Runner. If he notices us, those clickers are gonna run over here and I don't care who you think you are. No one can face three clickers at once."

Jack looked up at the shelves and then gestured to them.

"Think that's good booze?"

The obvious idea came to Miles. They were in a bar. There was alcohol. 

"Do you have a lighter?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, try to get those bottles. I'll get the rags off the table there and we could get out of here."

"Heh, I don't know why I didn't think of that," Jack said in obvious amusement. He grabbed his backpack and slowly started picking the bottles off the shelves and put it in his bag. Miles hoped that it wouldn't make a lot of noise but chose to trust Jack to be careful. He came back with the rags, thankful that they were dry. After combining the rag with a bottle, Jack held up the lighter.

"So, what's the plan here?"

"Throw it in the cluster of clickers there. Once they're occupied with the burning, we can make a run for it."

"Sounds good."

He slowly lit the rag when he felt that the clickers were within range and then tossed it. It managed to hit two of them, they cried out as the fire burned them. The runner was occupied with the noise the screaming clickers were making. Miles and Jack moved the other way but the clickers had walked out in the rain and it put out the fire and when the runner screamed as it noticed them, they were halfway to the back. Miles noticed it run towards them, drawing the clickers. 

"Jack, they're after us."

Jack didn't answer, he rammed against the back door and it opened. Miles rushed into the room and Jack immediately closed the door, locking it. Both of them stepped back once they infected banged on the door. 

"Fuck. That worked out well, didn't it?"

"Yeah, no complaints. At least we're alive." Miles chuckled. The fact that he did surprise him but he leaned on the desk to look around. It seemed to be an office and there was no other door. He breathed in the musty air and tried to calm himself down. 

"What's the plan now?"

"Give me a second," Jack said, pushing his hair back. "Is that a vent?"

He looked where Jack was looking and saw that there was a grid on the wall. There was only one way to find out and Miles managed to tune out the continuous banging from the other side of the door. He moved the chair to pull down the grid but it still had its screws in.

"Ugh, this won't budge."

"Okay, here you go. Try with this."

Miles turned around and saw that Jack was holding up a coin. He glanced at it then back up at him.

"Am I supposed to make an offering?"

"No, use it to unscrew the screws, you goddamn fool."

"Oh." Miles said, his mouth still resembling an O. "That works?"

"Well, it's worked until now. Why don't you give it a try so we can get out of here?"

"Okay, okay. Jesus."

It took him a while but he managed to get two screws off so he can move it to the side. Jack on the other hand was searching the office, looking in the drawers for anything useful. Once that was done, he pulled himself up in the vent and hoped it wouldn't take him somewhere worse than this place. He looked back to make sure that Jack was behind him then moved to the end of the vent, thankfully it wasn't sealed. Miles jumped down first and quickly looked around the room to determine it was clear and it was except for the skeleton in one corner. The door was sealed with what he assumed was every piece of furniture that was in the room. Miles stepped closer to the skeleton and saw that there was a knife on its lap. It had dried blood on it. He reached over to pick it up.

"That doesn't look like a switchblade," Jack said.

"I don't think it is. It's bigger. I think I'm gonna keep this one."

"Stealing from the dead now, are you?"

"You must be fucking insane to say that to me."

Jack chuckled and looked out the open window. Miles looked down at the skeleton, wondering how helpless he might've felt. He couldn't help but wonder the fear that he must've felt before he did it. At least that's the idea he had in his mind about what happened between these four walls.

"We can get out this way," Jack said and got out the window. 

Miles soon followed. They were in an alley and the infected they locked off were still out there. He clutched the knife tightly and looked around, the rain had begun to stop and the moon lit the darkness much better than before. 

"I think it'll be better if we went somewhere higher so we can reassess our situation."

Jack jumped up to grab the ladder to get on the fire escape then waited for Miles to do the same. He pulled himself up to join Jack and they both made their way to the roof. It wasn't as high as they expected it to be but it still did provide perspective. The sign should be visible and he was looking for it. Eventually, another problem presented itself. There were two yellow signs in two different buildings. Miles tried to avoid looking at Jack but he wasn't interested in just one look, he would use his words.

"Well, well, well, Mr. Fox. What do you know? There are two fucking signs. Now what? This is taking too much time and we have no idea where Ian is. So, again, now what?"

Miles did not have the answer to that. At least not something Jack might like so he stayed silent which was something he also did not like. 

"We should split up," Jack said, obviously made up his mind as Miles was trying to make up his.

"What.. no. We shouldn't split up." Miles started.

"You got a better idea, hotshot? We need to move fast. I'll take the one on your right and while you're making your way to your building, I want you to think about how a little specificity would've helped right now."

"Jesus, just let it go. I couldn't exactly do that since you blew her brains out or did you forget?"

"Whatever. Just don't get killed. We'll meet right there near that bridge."

Jack stepped back to make his way down the building to the street but before he did, Miles stopped him.

"Wait- you have the gun. Am I supposed to go down there without a weapon?"

"You have that knife, right?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Then that's your weapon. Look, let's just get this over with because I want to get back."

Miles did too but he chose to keep that to himself. Jack made his way down and Miles went ahead to figure a way down to take him to that building. Once on the street, every little sound managed to give him a heart attack which raced in his ears, reminding him of his overwhelming and sometimes crippling fear with certain events. He was a soldier and he needed to be braver than this, that was something he knew deep inside him but unfortunately had failed to live up to his own expectations. He remained quiet and made his way to his destination while actively trying to avoid clashes with infected.

He came across the building and looked upwards for no reason he could think of, it was merely instinctive. Maybe he could see something but that didn't seem like it was about to happen. Miles needed to find a way in past the boarded windows. He tried the door but it wouldn't budge and assumed it was barricaded with something heavy and if that was the case, it would be difficult opening it. He walked around and saw a fence that surrounded a small area that seemed like a parking lot. The back was just like the front, the windows were shut off and the door was locked, he almost gave up and would just find a way to climb to one of the higher open windows but he noticed that there was one small window that he could sneak into. That was a good start and he slowly climbed up to the window with the help of a nearby dumpster, angling his legs so he fell inside the building. The second he dropped, the floor underneath him shook just enough to make him feel a cold shiver down his spine as if his body could predict the first sign of trouble. The wood gave in and time seemed like it moved slowly until he hit the ground. Miles coughed and slowly pushed himself upon his knees to try and get a look at where he was but before he could even take in a breath a runner attacked, its hands grabbed his shirt tightly as it attempted to bite his face off. Miles groaned as he resisted its hold, he felt the hallowing fear grasp at his very soul at the sight. It ate at his strength and the creature's face moved in closer to his own. The stench was something he knew he'd never forget and doubted he could ever completely wash it off. 

He'd never been that close to the infected and he couldn't lie to himself any longer. He was terrified. Every doubt he had in his mind about his own strength snuck into his thoughts. As if to make matters worse, he could hear a clicker. Miles grunted pathetically, his breath was ragged. There was no one to save him. It was just him and his eventual death. He looked up at the runner through his tears, it looked back at him with hunger and anger.


	6. Darkness

Time seemed to pass slowly as the runner continued to growl, hungering for his flesh. Miles tried to reach for his knife but feared that one mistake could lead to the creature overpowering him and then it would take an ugly turn from there. He wished that they wouldn't of split up, who was he kidding? He can't handle this. He was no Harvey. No, he'd never be as brave as him. No, he was just a coward. A soon to be a dead coward. He could feel his arms growing weaker with each passing minute, it seemed like death was inching closer and in the form of fungal horror.

A gunshot suddenly sounded out of nowhere and it hit the runner square in the head, its limp body crashed on Miles and he felt his skin crawl. He kicked it off and he scrambled away in hopes to manage to collect himself because a gunshot meant that someone was there and armed. He felt a warm breath on the back of his neck following by a series of clicking. Miles felt the fear hit his body so hard that he could feel his heart skip a beat.

"I wouldn't move if I were you." A raspy voice sounded from the shadows. "Bet that clicker is starving."

Miles slowly turned around and was greeted by the clicker's face. He let out a yelp and once again scrambled again. The sound made the clicker rage and he could hear others, this was definitely it but as if to calm him down, the light came on and he saw about three clickers there but they were tied with ropes and could get very far from where the rope was attached. It seemed that someone tied them there. How could anyone do that? It baffled him completely. He couldn't think about it for too long as the owner of the voice was now visible. He had brown messy hair, piercing blue eyes, and a beard. He wasn't that large but his body was built strong that was obvious with his arms which were now holding a shotgun at Miles but once he saw him, he lowered it just a little bit but it was enough to be threatening.

"What are you doing here? How did you find this place?"

Miles put his hands up and slowly stood up, totally forgetting that he had his hand on the knife.

"Drop it before I shoot your head off." The man gestured to the knife.

"No... I mean, okay. Okay. Okay, don't shoot."

The man narrowed his eyes at Miles but still kept the shotgun up.

"You're just a fucking kid," he said matter-of-factly.

Miles tossed down the knife and it seemed that the fear muted the sounds of enraged clickers all around them. The man slowly came forth and picked up the knife.

"You just ruined my goddamn system. Now I gotta find another runner to replace the one you made me shoot."

He glanced at the runner then back at Miles and gestured at him with his shotgun.

"Get up, tell me why I shouldn't just shoot you right now and feed you to those clickers."

Miles slowly stood up, he found some difficulty with that as his legs felt like jelly, he was so tempted to sit down again.

"No, no, no. Please don't. Please. I was just looking for my friend. Please..."

"Yeah? Your hunter friends?"

"I- I'm not a hunter."

"Don't lie to me, asshole."

"I swear! I swear I'm not a hunter. I swear. I need to find my friend, he's missing."

"What are you? A scavenger trying to steal my stuff?" He asked Miles, seemingly ignoring what he just told him. 

"No... I'm... with FEDRA."

The man raised his eyebrows, it seemed like he didn't expect that.

"They're that desperate, huh? Brainwashing kids into being fascists?"

"I'm not a fascist," Miles said through gritted teeth. 

"Well, not yet, you aren't. You'll eventually blossom into a lovely dictator someday but with what I'm seeing right now, you'll probably not survive for long."

There was silence. It would be total silence if it wasn't for the clickers. 

"Walk up the stairs. If you try to be smart, I'll end you."

Miles gulped and then looked around to locate the stairs. Once he found them, he slowly made his way there.

"With your hands up, kid."

He raised his hands and did as he was told. The man asked him to open the door and he did, expecting many others to be there. What was this man? Oh, what if he was a cannibal? Miles' thoughts made everything so much worse. They stepped into a room that was lit by a fire in a barrel. The windows and doors were barricaded shut with wooden planks and there was no one else there. It seemed like the man lived here, there was a small stack of canned goods and it didn't feel like it was enough for a man to live on. Miles thought about how there was always food back in the quarantine zone, he found himself wondering why people would choose starvation and lack of security and the loom of constant threats on the horizon over living inside the walls. 

The man came over and briefly but efficiently searched Miles before shoving him to sit down. He fell down on the ground and was quick to turn towards him cautiously.

"What's FEDRA doing all the way over here? Talk."

The shotgun was once again lifted to Miles' face. He put a hand up as he stared into the ominous hollowness of the weapon.

"He ran away and I'm trying to find him before something bad happens to him. I didn't know you were here. I swear. Have you seen him? He's- He's a bit shorter than me and-"

The man hummed then lowered his weapon but held it closely in case he had to use it again.

"No. I haven't seen another kid running around here. Jesus. Is that what you're doing with your lives? Nursing fascism? Like this world isn't fucked enough?"

"I told you-..."

"Oh? So, what? You think you're keeping the peace by not letting people out of the walls? By imposing curfews and controlling the way people live? Is that what they tell you at whatever hellhole they train you? That you're the peacekeepers?"

"That's not-"

"Don't give me some fucking line you were spoonfed. Are you that blind? I bet you think you're the saviors of humanity. Tch, the arrogance of the power-crazed military. Fuck FEDRA."

The man spits on the ground as if to underline his point. Miles furrowed his eyebrows as he stared up at him. He couldn't bring himself to say anything.

****

The man sat down next to the barrel and tossed some firewood to keep the fire alive. Miles wondered why there wasn't any light in the room like there was in the basement. He was tied to a pole with a thick rope that felt like it cut into him whenever he'd try to move his hands.

"You messed up my trap." He said once again as he stood up and then walked a small distance to cover up something on the ground, it was the hole that he fell through. There was the open window he got inside with. The trap didn't make much sense to Miles, he couldn't he just board the window shut entirely?

"I need to go. Let me go."

"I thought it was obvious the first time that I don't trust the military. Why would I do that? So, you can go then come back with a couple of your friends and put a bullet in my head?"

"We won't-.."

"You obviously don't know what the military is capable of."

The man was sitting near the barrel, poking the fire within with a large stick.

"I told you I won't do that. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"It's easier to die these days than you think so excuse my trust issues."

"We're wasting time! I need to get out of here! I need to find out if my friend is okay!"

Miles exclaimed and then started squirming in hopes of loosening the rope but soon he discovered it was useless. The man seemed to already know that and so didn't even look at him. The icy demeanor he seemed to radiate sent chills down Miles's spine and he slowly settled down, hanging his head low.

"What kind of psychopath runs around this area with just a knife?" The man asked.

Miles just shook his head, not even bothering to raise it.

"You didn't even know how to use it. You know, it's like you're asking for death."

"I know how to use the knife." He replied stubbornly.

"Bullshit. If I wasn't there, that runner would've ripped you to shreds."

Miles didn't even know how to reply to that. He knew he needed to do better and get a hold of himself or next time he wouldn't be so lucky. Not that he was lucky right now.

"If you don't want to let me go, could you at least come with me?"

The man seemed surprised at the request so much that he stopped poking the fire and turned fully to face the other. He erupted in laughter which only made Miles feel a little threatened. 

"Why the hell would I come with an army brat? You think I'm that dumb, huh?"

"It only makes sense and I just need to do this one thing. Then we go our separate ways. I don't want anything to do with you and you don't want anything to do with me."

"You really think I was born yesterday." He said with a chuckle.

"Well, maybe while the dinosaurs were still roaming the earth."

"Why you little shit."

Some shouts erupted from outside, one of them sounded like Jack. Miles perked up and shouted back as loud as he could. Could that really be his salvation? 

"Jack! Jack, I'm here! I'm here! I-"

He was silenced when the man covered his mouth with his hand but Miles was quick to bite him to get away for just a few seconds to shout some more for his comrades. Only to see what looked like a molotov cocktail thrown through the open window. It smashed right next to Miles with the fire hungrily inching closer. The man grabbed the shotgun and pointed it to the window. He hesitantly looked back at Miles and at the raging fire and he knew he had to make a quick decision. Miles screamed for him to untie him and tried to put out the flames with his shoe when he started to feel the heat. Much to their dismay, another molotov cocktail was thrown in and it landed not very far away from the last one. It might be too late but he knew whoever was out there was not Jack.

The man quickly packed his things. His hideout definitely compromised, he shoved everything in a backpack and then looked back at Miles and their eyes met. Miles knew the terror in his eyes was clear as day and it was starting to annoy him how helpless he felt. He began kicking his feet and trying to loosen the rope and didn't even care as it cut into his wrists. The man moved behind him and held up the knife he had taken from against his throat, the cold steel made shivers run down his spine before he lowered it to the rope.

"I'm going to cut you free now but I'll keep the knife."

Miles slowly rolled away to get on his hands and knees so he could push himself up but as he did that, he felt them get weak. He knew it was because of the fear. He looked down at his hands and saw how shaky they were getting. The smoke in the room was making everything worse

"Hey, kid! Snap out of it!"

He looked at the man but couldn't even say anything. The man put his hands on Miles' shoulder and shook him.

"Snap out of it!"

He repeated as he looked in the direction that he assumed trouble was coming from. Miles was sure his tongue was paralyzed as he just stared at the man, knowing that he probably looked like a fool. 

"Go upstairs, c'mon."

He felt his hand grab his arm and walk along with him to the stairs in the other room and urged Miles to go first and just as he was, there was a loud sound of something breaking. The man's head snapped in the direction of the noise and quickly followed Miles. The sound of footsteps quickly followed after a small period of silence then came the voices.

"Kennedy! Is that you? Don't run away from me, you know I hate that." 

"Kennedy" placed a hand on Miles' back to get him to run faster up the steps but the problem was that he didn't know where they were going. Miles wanted to stop and maybe get out of this building to find his friends but he didn't even know where to go. He was lost. So lost. 

"Out the window, quick. Climb up the fire escape."

He told him as Miles saw that he had held up his shotgun in the direction of the stairs for when they do show themselves. What were they? Hunters? Miles' head was a mess. He climbed the window to get out but then saw that there was an armed man coming from behind the one called Kennedy. Were they already upstairs? Miles got down and then ran over and jumped on the back of the intruder. He held on tight to his back and placed his hands on his eyes. He pressed his fingers in his sockets, it was something that he learned from Jack. The shriek from the man was definitely something he'd hear. he reached back to try and pull Miles off him and then opted to slam himself back hard against the wall. It hurt as his much smaller body was crushed between the wall and the bigger man, for now, he tried to keep the hold tight on him. The intruder did it again but this time Miles felt much more pain than last time and then slowly felt everything get black, the voice echoed in his ear. The shouts, the gunshot. He slowly fell to the ground afterward to be swallowed in the pitch black.


End file.
